Messed up conversations with drunks

You know what PISSES ME OFF, you know when your having a conversation with someone and for some reason you get on to a particular topic, in this case lets say the topic is...nuts. Don't you hate how the other person usually has to make some DUMB ASS sexual comment creating some kind of lam ass pun base on you ligament topic of conversation. lets say you say something like "I not sure I like those nuts, they leave a weird taste in my mouth" then the other person in the usual DUMB ASS fashion just has to say something like "uh you don't like the nuts in your mouth?". Then he or she laughs like a idiot for half hour because they think they made a clever joke out of your topic of conversation. THESE PEOPLE NEED TO BE KILLED, I am sick and tired of people warping simple topics into something perverted. God forbid if your a woman who gets caught up in some kind of twisted wordplay like this, before you know it everyone at work or school is getting on your back because you made a comment about a large ball. It's unnecessary, it's stupid and it just shows that your thinking with your sexual organs rather that your brain. This being the case someone should glue your mouth to your butt so that they may illustrate that you truly indeed SUCK ASS!! Next topic, drunk people. You know the type of ASSHOLE who always has to get shit faced on the weekends, who goes staggering around, patting you on the back, like your his best friend when all you want him to do is get in his car and drive home recklessly! I'm sick and tired of some incoherent ASSHOLE who smell like a case of malt liquor, all of a sudden talking about the philosophy of life while trying to pick up some woman at a bar. Nice! What worse is those FUCKING DOLTS that go around and actually tell you how fuck up they got the night before. Like they deserve some type of reward for falling face first in a patch of tomatoes in there back yard at 4:00 A.M in the morning. "Don't forget, friends don't let friends drive drunk." SCREW THAT, as far as I'm concerned give them the keys, rev up the engine and let them go sailing home with a bottle of tequila in their lap. 1 of 3 things will happen: 1. the cops will pull him over and end up having to beat the shit out of him just because this fucker is in a drunken rage and refuses to turn off Neil Diamond's, "They're coming to America". #2. They wrap themselves around telephone pole and either be killed or paralyzed. Cruel you say, well so is inflicting your drunken stupidity on the rest of the world. So be ready to pay the consequences ASSHOLE. Scenario #3, my least favorite, they make it home o.k. and pass out on the lawn with their motor running while the radio is blasting some DUMB ASS metal song from the mid 80s that no one wants to hear anymore. At least it gives them a chance to try again next week. So if your a drunken idiot or a moron who has to manipulate ligament conversations to get a cheap thrill out of your luby hole please feel free to get together on the weekends, drive around drunk, make all the twisted sexual comments you like I'll just watch from the local diner window as they scrape your body off the pavement with a FUCKING spatula! Get out of our FUCKING lives you moronic ASSHOLES, your existence is useless and your dragging down the collective intelligence of humanity. Don't like what I have to say? here's the keys a bottle of Jack Daniels. I'll see you tomorrow, but hopefully not.